The favorite child

Kalo diamati sih ... memang iya, orang tua lebih suka anak yg satu drpd yg lain, meskipun sangat tabu sekali untuk mengakui hal ini dengan terus terang. Maka bibir meyakinkan orang lain bahwa semua anak sama-sama dicintai sedangkan tindakan jelas menunjukkan sebaliknya. Ini artikel menarik dari Daily Mail.

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Would YOU admit to loving one child more than another? New book claims 95 per cent of parents have favourites

By Tamara Abraham


It is the kind of knowledge, one imagines, would leave a child requiring years of therapy. So a new book's claim that 95 per cent of parents have a favourite is a controversial one.

Writer Jeffrey Kluger, who dedicates a chapter of The Sibling Effect to favouritism, believes those who don't admit to loving one child more are lying.

He writes: 'It is my belief that 95 percent of the parents in the world have a favorite child, and the other five percent are lying.'

Of course he is cautious not to upset his own daughters, aged eight and ten, adding: 'The only exceptions are my wife and me.' (Ha ha very funny! ~Garden of Words)

And he knows he is not alone. Though he says most families are aware of who the favourite child is, few mothers and fathers would dream of admitting it.

'There’s some value of the parents' code... never to speak of it.'

Even throughout his own childhood, he admits, his parents' favourites were clear.

He tells Today.com that among his four siblings, he, the second child and eldest son was his father's favourite, while his brother, the third child and youngest son, was his mother's favourite.

His experience differs from general trends though - Mr Kluger says studies show that fathers are most likely to favour youngest daughters, while mothers are more prone to liking an eldest son best.

Middle children, he reveals, are least likely to be a parent's favourite, unless they are the family's only son or daughter.

'One thing that makes it a little easier for a middle child is if you’ve got company,' he added.

But a child's sex and position in the family have less to do with parental favouritism than a recognition of ourselves.

He says that it is natural for parents to search for likenesses in their offspring.

'Having children is an act of genetic narcissism to begin with,' he says. 'We are hardwired to do it.

'What we look for in a child are traits that remind us of ourselves. You may love your husband, but it’s your genes that are in play. You want the most direct portal for your genes in the following generation.'

Rita Rubin, who interviewed Mr Kluger, admits this is the case with her own two daughters, aged 12 and 14.

She wrote: 'I get tickled when I see glimpses of myself in them: my older daughter’s interest in current events and, yes, shopping; my younger daughter’s goal of becoming an actress.'

But rather than a consistent favourite, she says her preference changes day by day. Sometimes even throughout the day.

Mr Kluger's opinion is in stark contrast with a Today/Parenting.com survey published this summer, which found that just 19 per cent of mothers admitted to having a favourite child.

But, he believes that more and more people are breaking taboos and speaking about the issue.

Indeed, earlier this year, a writer sparked a huge reaction after writing a heartfelt anonymous feature in Redbook about the guilt she felt over loving her younger daughter more than her eldest.

And a UK study showed that 88 per cent of mothers polled admit to treating boys and girls differently, despite considering it wrong to do so.

More than half – 55 per cent – said they found it easier to bond with their sons.

And seven per cent admitted their sons were given more treats than their daughters.